This is Not the End: Conversations on Borderline Personality Disorder by Althea Press

Author:Althea Press
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Althea Press
Published: 2016-06-13T16:00:00+00:00

I slowly learned over the course of that year in DBT to accept people as they are, to listen and think before I speak, and to be nice to people instead of tearing them down.

While I went to Al-Anon, my husband attended Alcoholics Anonymous. He worked on his sobriety and on being a nicer person. We started doing projects together, and we started going to family gatherings together. We still get along. I’m a group representative in Al-Anon now.

The financial cost of DBT was hard for me. I was the sole wage earner for the family, and as a night-shift staff at a group home, I didn’t make much. Insurance didn’t cover it all, and I wound up in debt. Sometimes I got mad at Pat because she was making me work so hard. There were a couple times I wanted to walk out—especially after I finished DBT skills group, and I faced my past—being molested as a child and teen. But my goal was to get better, so I wasn’t about to quit. I thought, “Where would that get me?” I wanted to prove people wrong. I thank DBT for giving me the life that I never had.

I’m enjoying my job now. By helping other people, I’m helping myself, too. The things that come out of my mouth are God-given—not the way I used to talk or think. I still use my skills and Al-Anon. I still call my sponsor. Sometimes I have doubts. I pray.

I was a weakling. I was so submissive. I was raised to feel like I was meant to be seen and not heard. When I told my mom stuff, like how I was molested, she didn’t believe me. Now, I stand up for myself. I get shaky, and I don’t like it, but I do it.

I still have bad days, but it’s how I deal with them. I don’t hold a grudge like I used to. Sometimes when people tell me something, it’s not what I want to hear, but it’s what I need to hear.

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